Last night we had another potty party. This time at 4:45 am and Beth joined in. I got up at 5:50 am to shower and get ready. I also worked on my journal. I am all caught up not and am really excited to write down my feelings when they happen.
Today we did a few different activities to learn about diversity. For one activity part of a group went into hiding and then the other people decided a task for the person to do and then we could only communicate how to do the task by clapping. The first time we had one person, Andrew, who had to take a chair from the patio and put it in the circle and I just remembered I can’t write about this…sorry.
We then did another activity where we made two different societies and then we visited the other community. I can’t talk about this either. At times, I felt really frustrated because I wasn’t able to communicate with other people. Also I found the group dynamic distressing. Going back to my thought about the guy and girl dynamics in Bangladesh, I feel frustrated that I wont be able to start conversations with men and I cant make eye contact. Also I do not know how I will handle walking behind the men and things like that. I am worried that his might be my pushing point. But I will have to trust the Lord and what he wants to show me through this.
Oh yeah, we had a speaker today as well. She is actually published in a book we have to read Quest for Hope in the Urban Slums. It was really good to hear from her for she talked about the aspects of poverty. I felt tired and fought to stay awake but I really wanted to listen. But I did take notes, and I will reflect on them later. I am talking with the girls, Adriel, Beth, and Lauren, during our unexpected break after our two activities. I also found out that Lauren and Beth will be staying at Grace House with us. So YAY!
Tonight we are having a non-optional fast. We gathered to pray and Ray said we were having a feast and he revealed nothing. After, Ray spoke and then we had a time of prayer and reflection. I for the first time had a tiny glimpse as to what it means to be hungry NOT by choice. They don’t have a choice. Lord please continue to give me revelation about Your kingdom, Your poor communities, and Your will. Lord give me Your heart, eyes, and ears to connect and bond with Your people. I know that the only reason for hunger and poverty is because of sin. The speaker later said, “The hungry do not die because God did not care for them but because neither you or I gave them anything to eat.” I was left with WOW! Nut I still want to know why I have been blessed while others live in poverty and hunger? Lord help me to see and understand Your vision. I was left with these words the speaker said, “The poor are or desert.” I know I still have to process this a lot more.
Looking back on the activities from today, I know that I need to be gracious towards all people dealing with miscommunication and I need to be brave and bold. I should not fear being made a fool or stepping out in new ways. I should never just stand there and/or retreat to my comfort zone. I should and need to be bold because I have the Lord. Also today I really feel called to encouraged (by God and Sean) to be intentional with my relationship with Marie. I think it will be so easy for her to crawl inside herself and be an introvert. Also I want to encourage Sarah more and grow closer to her. We both have had little interaction with one another. I feel as though she can be discouraged and may feel on the outskirts at times. I feel overjoyed that the Lord has put these thoughts and desires in me and I have a desire to respond and I WILL!
On a more surface level, I killed my first cockroach. I think only 2 or 3 of us have done this. There is a contest for who can kill the most. I really want to talk to Phil about spiritual gifts; we started this talk back in April when I drove him home. I’m really amazed right now as we all journal before group time how we all have such a passion for God and his people in each of our own ways. I also can see that we each show it very differently at time and at other times similarly. God is good like that. “I’m in awe.”
I might loose this summer, loose according to me. I might be called to get my competitive side in check. God brought this to my thoughts when we had group time. We reflected and we prayed. This was a time to talk and apologize for thoughts, actions, and words. It was good to do this so that we were able to get things and thought off our chests and out of our minds. After words we went to bed. Adriel prayed for us. Yet NONE of us went to bed. We talked until about midnight.
1 comment:
You write very well.
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